The Wake-Up Call
by buxy
Summary: Nina Ruben is tired of being ridiculed, ignored, belittled and yelled at. The SRU should have been a fresh start, but her so-called teammates constantly remind her that she's a rookie. An outsider. Unwanted. A hot call brings her face to face with what she's left behind, serving as a wake-up call for both her and her co-workers. Pre-Series AU, so no Sam in here, sorry folks :)
1. Chapter 1 - The Wake-Up Call

**A/N: My first attempt at a Flashpoint fanfiction. I should be working on my other stories, but I'm kinda stuck on all of them, so I wrote this instead... Maybe it'll help get my other stories unstuck...**

**This is a two-chapter story, but I am thinking about expanding on this as soon as I have finished at least one of my other projects. Let me know what you think and I apologise for any mistakes, I wrote most of this during an incredibly boring lecture.  
**

**Note: This was inspired (among other things) by missblueeyes63's Beauty of Life series, so some parts might sound familiar if you have read her works. Team 1 might seem a bit OOC as they are occasionally quite harsh or mean, but there are moments in the show where they aren't all that nice and friendly to their own colleagues either...  
**

* * *

_"Where do you think you're going?!"_

_Nina raised her arms, showing them blood-stained hands. "To clean up", she retorted._

_Ed glared daggers at her, visibly reigning himself in. "If you're not in the briefing room in ten minutes", he told her, voice tight with barely suppressed anger, "I'm gonna find you and drag you there myself."_

_She didn't bat an eye at the threat, simply brushed past them and headed towards the changing rooms._

_"Eddie", Greg began as they watched her go._

_"She disobeyed orders", Ed growled, turning to look at his friend and sergeant. "She put everyone at risk because she couldn't stay objective." He shot another glare in the direction where the young woman had disappeared. "She doesn't belong here."_

* * *

Nina Ruben ignored the snickers as she entered the briefing room at the start of their shift. Her hair was still wet from the latest 'surprise' in her locker. Another water bomb. Even after being with the Police Strategic Response Unit for nearly four months, the hazing hadn't diminished in the slightest.

"Did you oversleep?", came the gleefully innocent question from Michelangelo Scarlatti, Team One's resident bomb tech and technical expert who everyone just called 'Spike'.

Jules Callaghan, the only other woman in the SRU, grinned and asked: "Or did your hookup not have a hairdryer?"

Nina absently wondered where the other woman got that idea since she had never mentioned any romantic relations - or any other private information, really - but didn't dwell on it. Jules had been making snide remarks about her since Day 1, never bothering to hide her displeasure at Nina's presence on the team. After 15 weeks, Nina had gotten used to it. The words still stung as much as they had on the first day, the laughter at her expense digging into her with sharp barbs, but the shock had worn off.

"My locker wasn't excited to see me", she replied with a casual shrug, settling in her chair at the corner of the table.

Any further jokes or retorts were silenced when Sergeant Greg Parker, Team One's boss and lead negotiator, began the briefing for their shift. He went over a few bulletins and new or updated warrants before calling it a patrol day.

**...**

Turning her attention to Ed Lane, the team leader, Nina just hoped that he wouldn't pair her with Jules. Or himself. He disliked her just as much, brushed aside any suggestions she made and yelled at her for every mistake. She had learned very quickly that trying to explain herself was no use.

On her fourth call, she had briefly ended up on the business end of a handgun when she'd stayed by a badly wounded woman's side and the subject - a man who had been desperate enough for his former employer to listen to him that he'd brought a gun to the meeting - had found them. She had managed to convince the subject to put the gun down and help her with the victim, resolving the call peacefully and without any fatalities, but Ed had been furious.

"On this team, you follow the rules!", he'd impressed on her, eyes steely like gun-metal. "You follow the rules because otherwise, you put everyone at risk."

"How can I follow the rules if nobody tells me what they are?!", she had argued, frustrated, exhausted and confused because she had told them that the woman couldn't be moved to a safer location. She couldn't abandon a victim in need of immediate medical attention, so she'd stayed.

Ed had slammed the SRU guidelines onto the table and she'd been relegated to command truck duty for the next week.

* * *

The silence in the truck was tense enough that neither the banter and jokes of their teammates in their headsets nor the upbeat song playing on the radio could fill it. Jules noticed the rookie's eyes following the path of yet another ambulance that flew past them, lights flashing, sirens blaring.

"Do you miss it?", she wanted to know. Because really, if she missed being a paramedic so much, why was she in the SRU now?

"Sometimes."

Yet another one of those vague answers. And before she could stop herself, Jules heard herself say: "Then why did you leave?"

The other woman shrugged. "Needed a change of scenery, I guess." But her body language didn't match her nonchalant, soft tone. Her eyebrows creased, a flash of regret flickering across her face. Her hazel gaze briefly dropped to her lap before looking out the window again._  
_

"What did you do?", Jules questioned. She was a profiler, she knew guilt when she saw it.

**...**

Nina looked at her colleague. Part of her wanted to laugh, possibly hysterically. Part of her wanted to cry. Part of her wanted to yell at Jules. The part of her that gained the upper hand was too tired to do any of that.

"Sat in the wrong seat", she answered, rearranging her features into a grin and infusing a levity into her tone that she didn't feel.

"Team One, hot call", came the voice of Kira Marlowe, their dispatcher, over the radio. "Potential suicide."

The two women sat up a little straighter as they listened to the details. "Multiple reports of a man on the roof of an apartment building, 122 Wallace Avenue." They glanced at each other.

"That's really close by", Jules said. She turned on the sirens and lights.

Nina nodded. "Take the next right", she directed before transmitting for Kira and the rest of the team to hear: "We're two minutes away."

"More like seven. Five if we're lucky", Jules corrected, looking at the GPS.

"Two if you hang a right", Nina maintained without sparing the map a glance. "It's a shortcut and we can avoid the construction site on Landsdowne."

The rest of the team was at least 10 minutes away, Ed and Wordy even closer to 15. Greg decided: "Alright, Jules, Nina, find out what's going on, get some intel and see how close you can get."

"Copy", they acknowledged.

* * *

"Kira, any ID on our subject yet?", Jules asked as they got out of the truck. Several patrol cars were already there, cordonning off a perimeter and keeping onlookers back.

"Still working on it."

A uniformed constable came over to them. "Hey Nina", he greeted the young woman.

"Simon, hi. Anything you can tell us?"

Constable Simon Wallace sighed. "We suspect that he's a resident, but no ID yet. We tried talking to him, didn't do anything, so we're keeping our distance."

"Alright. Can you show us the way?"

**...**

Climbing up onto the roof, they saw two constables watching the man, who was standing on the ledge. Nina quietly described the situation for the rest of the team while they approached, slowly and carefully. With a nod, she instructed the constables to back off.

"ETA four minutes", Lewis Young, also known as Lou, replied. He was Spike's best friend, a level-headed man who was often responsible for the less-lethal part of their tactical plans. He was also frequently the Sergeant's second, providing intel and helping with the profiling.

Meanwhile, Jules announced their presence to the subject, introducing herself. "My name is Jules Callaghan, I'm with the Police Strategic Response Unit. Can you tell us why we're here today, sir?" She stood a good distance away so he wouldn't feel cornered and make a rash decision.

"Don't come any closer", the man demanded.

Nina's breath caught in her throat. She'd recognise that voice anywhere. "Oh my God. Michael?" What is he doing up here? How did this happend?

He turned, just as astonished as her. "N-nina?", he stammered, staring at her as if he wasn't sure whether he was dreaming or not.

"You know him?", Jules questioned quietly.

"Michael Loretz, 33", Nina identified. "We used to work together." Raising her voice, she returned her attention to the man on the ledge. "Michael, is it okay if I come a bit closer? That way we won't have to shout to hear each other."

"Boss, subject is Michael Loretz", Jules relayed, watching as her colleague inched closer to the subject. "Ruben worked with him. Looks like they were pretty close."

"Copy that, Jules. We're almost there."

**...**

Nina stopped when she was about three feet away. Her heart was thundering in her chest, her throat tight. "Michael...what's going on? What-" Her voice cracked and she broke off.

He sniffled. Tears shimmered in the warm sunlight. "I'm sorry", he said softly. With a wet chuckle, he added: "This isn't how I imagined us meeting again."

Her own laugh was shaky and humourless. "I didn't imagine it like this either", she admitted, her eyes stinging. Her voice sounded hoarse, even to her own ears. On the comms, she heard Jules, Ed and the Sarge debate about pulling her back and letting Jules do the talking.

Tuning them out, Nina swallowed and forced herself to ignore the ache in her heart. She was almost at the railing. "What's going on, Michael?", she asked gently. "What happened?"

Michael shook his head. "Please, Nina, don't. Just...just leave."

She smiled sadly, taking another step forward, reaching the railing. "You know I won't do that."

"Nina." His tone held a pleading quality underneath the agitation and tears. "Please, go!" He turned around, the sun now behind him, and repeated his plea.

**...**

Everyone heard the sharp intake of breath over the comms.

"Michael", Nina breathed. There was a slight catch of carefully concealed emotion in her voice. "What happened?"

"Boss, subject's been beaten. His face is bruised and he's bleeding", Jules provided the context.

**...**

Michael's shoulders slumped further and he turned away again. "I told you you should go. I don't want you to..." He trailed off.

"I know, Michael. But it's like you always said, remember? I'm too stubborn for my own good." Gripping the railing, she told him that she was going to come closer so they could talk.

"Boss, she's too close", Jules argued in her ear. "She's not objective."

She ignored her. She knew this man. And she knew that he didn't need objectivity. He needed somebody who understood. Down on the street, another SRU truck arrived and she spotted the command truck at the end of the road.

"Was it a bad run?" She was almost certain that this wasn't the case; in all the years she'd worked with him, Michael had never reacted like this to even the worst calls they'd had.

"No." He sighed. Shook his head. Huffed out a breath that might have been amusement. "You're not going to let this go, huh?"

Nina smiled as she swung her leg over the railing and lowered herself down onto the wide ledge. "You know me, Milo." The use of her old friend and partner's nickname drew a half-laugh, half-sob from him.

Jules' voice came over the radio. "Ruben, you gotta clip in, you're not secured."

"Ruben, use your damn safety line, that's an order", Ed barked.

* * *

Spike had pulled all the information he could find on Michael Loretz, Level III paramedic of station 26. "Michael Loretz, 33. Has been a paramedic for 12 years, Level III for the last 5. Clean service record, no rap sheet other than the occasional speeding ticket."

"Get their call logs so we can see if anything sticks out", Greg advised. "And look into personal relations, family, friends, work colleagues." He hesitated for a second. "Find out how Nina figures into this." Then, he headed over to Ed to try and cool the team leader's boiling temper.

Kevin "Wordy" Wordsworth, entry specialist and devoted family man, listened to their newest team member. He could hear the emotions in her voice and knew that Nina cared a lot about this man. But unlike Ed and Jules, he thought this might not be a bad thing. Maybe a familiar face was exactly what this young man needed. He had told Ed as much, but his friend had refused to listen, too angry at the rookie for defying him.

**...**

"I haven't seen you in a while", Michael said, turning his head to look at his former co-worker. He frowned. "You look skinny. Are you okay?"

Letting him change the topic for now, Nina allowed: "I'm fine. It's been a bit crazy, that's all."

"Being the rookie is tough", he agreed wistfully.

She couldn't bring herself to nod, settled on a shrug instead. "New job, new people...takes time to get used to." She couldn't exactly speak her mind, not when the entire team was listening, her every word was recorded by the auto-transcripter and Michael was in such an unstable state of mind. At least, he was no longer so close to the ledge. He had taken a step back, was more focused on her than anything else.

**...**

"Alright, no recent calls that stand out", Greg informed the team. "No history of depression or suicidal thoughts, no drug or alcohol abuse. Good relationship with his family, solid group of friends, well-liked and respected by his colleagues."

Lou, who had looked into the connection between their subject and their colleague, spoke up: "Michael and Nina were work partners. They worked at the same station for 7 years, on the same ambulance for 3. Looks like he was Nina's first partner."

"That explains their emotional bond."

**...**

"Milo...what happened?", Nina asked once more, more emphatically. "Please. I just want to help you."

He sniffled, wiped a trickle of blood off his face and took a shaky breath. "Remember that run we had in Riverdale?", he began after a long stretch of silence, voice wavering. "Your third week on the job?"

The blonde confirmed softly, thinking back to her earliest days with Toronto EMS.

**...**

Spike's fingers flew over the keyboard as he searched the call logs from seven years ago, trying to find the run Michael was referring to.

**...**

"The family's little girl called 911 because her big brother was in bad shape", Nina picked up the thread. "The parents were out. She was five, didn't understand what was going on."

Michael nodded. "He was unresponsive when we got there. Concussion, bruised all over, broken shoulder." He shuddered, blinking rapidly. "Remember what he said when he came around and we asked what happened?"

A sinking feeling settled in Nina's gut as slowly, the pieces started clicking together. "He said he tripped down the stairs", she answered, the words nearly choking her as they squeezed past her tight throat.

Tears streamed down Michael's battered face as he looked at her. "I tripped down the stairs, too", he whispered brokenly before averting his gaze again. He swayed and Nina reached out, catching him and helping him sit down as he burst into tears once more.

"It's okay", she mumbled as she tried to collect herself. "It's okay. I got you." She felt sick.

* * *

"Spike, Lou, what are they talking about?"

"Jules, what's going on up there?"

Greg and Ed were both demanding reports, unable to make sense of the situation with only the audio of Nina's mic to go on.

Jules told them what she could see, explaining that the subject was now sitting on the ground, Nina kneeling beside him. "She's still not hooked in", she ended her observation.

Lou read out the information from the call logs. "Patient was Danny Sowosko, aged 14. He had multiple injuries suggesting abuse. Turns out his mother had beaten him regularly for over two years. She was arrested, the kids live with their father now."

A few beats of stunned silence followed as the weight of Michael's statement sunk in.

**...**

Up on the roof, Nina's mind was racing in time with her pounding heart. "H-how long?" She had to know if it had already happened when they had still worked together, had to know if she had missed the signs.

"Three months."

The knowledge didn't make her feel better. She forced the thought away and asked the next question. To this one, she could already guess the answer. "Does anyone know?"

He took a deep breath in an obvious effort to calm down and shook his head. "The captain suspects something, though", he answered as the tears slowed again. "As do some of the guys."

"But you couldn't tell them, right?" Nina shifted, looked at him even though he was still avoiding her eyes. She knew he was listening. "You know they would help you without hesitation, but there's that voice in your head that keeps denying the whole thing." She paused and gave up trying to keep her voice steady. "And then, when you think about telling someone about it, that voice starts telling you 'what if?'."

Michael turned to face her. "You know how it is, Nina", he choked out. "You can't see it until it's too late." He sobbed, tears and blood mixing on his cheeks and dripping to the ground. "I can't do this anymore! I want it all to stop!"

"I know, Milo. I know. But you have to believe me, this isn't the right way!"

**...**

The members of Team One held their breath as their rookie begged, voice desperate and filled with pure heart-break: "Please, Milo. I've already lost one partner. I can't lose you, too. Not after Benny."

Spike stared at the screen in front of him, shock turning to horrified realisation turning to leaden guilt. The documents that glared back at him held a lot more than just the reason for Level III paramedic Nina Ruben's departure from EMS and subsequent transfer to SRU. "Oh", he made tonelessly. He closed the files before anybody else saw them.

**...**

"I just want it to stop", Michael repeated quietly.

Nina squeezed his shoulder. "I know, Milo. We can help you with that. You're not alone."

He sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "Can you promise that Jenny won't get to do this again?", he asked.

The tentative hope in his eyes nearly did her in. "I promise", she said, a tearful smile stretching on her lips, "that we'll do everything we possibly can to make sure that she'll never hurt you or anybody else again. Does that sound good?"

Michael nodded.

"Okay. Now, let's get off this roof, yeah?"

Another nod.

"Alright." Nina got to her feet. "Just let me do the work."

"I'm too heavy for you", he protested as she helped him stand.

The blonde chuckled and reminded him: "I've carried you before."

**...**

As soon as they were on the roof, away from the railings, Nina carefully lowered her friend to the ground. "You know the drill, buddy. Talk to me", she said, hands already moving to check for broken bones.

Michael complied, listing off everything paramedics were trained to ask for. He mentioned what hurt and what didn't, any injuries he was certain of and all those he suspected. "Oh", he mentioned as an afterthought, "and I think my side is bleeding."

One look confirmed it and while Nina applied pressure to the quite deep gash in Michael's side, Jules called for EMS.

**...**

"You know", Michael mumbled, blood loss taking its toll now that the adrenaline faded, "you can always come back. We miss you."

She swallowed thickly. "I miss you guys, too", she admitted. "But...I couldn't face- I couldn't do it."

He hummed and uncoordinatedly patted her on the arm. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. We should have helped you."

"No. No, it's not your fault", Nina returned, unwilling to let him burden himself with more guilt. "I should have kept in touch."

"'s okay. We're not blaming you." Michael smiled faintly, blinking tiredly. "You should stop by the station, say hello. The guys still feel pretty guilty and I know they'd be happy to see you."

She nodded, a pained smile on her face. "I will. But only if you're there with me."

"Deal." His eyes closed. "'m glad you're here, Roo."

"Me too, Milo. Me too."

* * *

After loading Michael into the ambulance, Nina turned to walk away, but stopped when Johnny, the senior paramedic, called her name.

"Are you okay?", he asked, eyeing her critically, trained gaze catching briefly on the blood on her hands.

She shrugged. "I never thought I'd see him like this."

The broad-shouldered brunet nodded. "Yeah", he agreed. "You see this stuff on runs, but you never quite realise that it can happen to anyone." Seeing her worn-out expression, he patted her on the shoulder and gave her a smile. "Don't worry, we'll look after him. It's good to see you, Nina."

"You too, Johnny."

"You should stop by some time. You know, to catch up and maybe clear up a misunderstanding or two", he suggested warmly.

Nina told him that she'd already made a deal with Michael.

Johnny smiled, obviously pleased. "Take care, Nina", he offered before he hopped into the rig.

"You too, guys."

**...**

Nina closed the doors, rapped on them twice with the flat palm and watched the ambulance drive off, sirens wailing. Exhaling slowly, she steeled herself for the impending confrontation. Ed had looked positively furious when she'd stepped out onto the street, his entire posture tense as he tried to control his anger. Likely, he was going to tear into her right here. Normally, she'd feel a certain amount of nervous discomfort at the prospect or even just annoyance or frustration.

But today, she was just tired. Having to talk her former partner and close friend down from the ledge had left her numb and exhausted. She just wanted to go home, curl up in a ball and cry. She knew this wouldn't happen for at least another two hours, though. She blew out another breath. Forced herself to turn around, to put one foot in front of the other.

Ed was on her in seconds. "What the hell was that, Ruben?!", he snarled. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

She looked at him wearily, one hand raised to halt his tirade. "Not now", she said. "Not now. You can yell at me at the station." Without waiting for a reaction, she continued on her way, heading towards Constable Wallace. She needed them to get the ball rolling so that Jennifer Decourcy would never lay a hand on Michael again.

**...**

After a moment of consternation - the rookie had just brushed him off and breezed past him - Ed's anger returned tenfold. He made to follow the insolent woman, but was stopped by a hand on his chest.

"Not now, Eddie", Greg said, shaking his head.

"Boss, she-"

"-has just been through a difficult and highly emotional negotiation", the sergeant interrupted gently but firmly. "Cut her some slack."

They watched as the young woman spoke to one of the uniformed constables. They seemed to be familiar with each other judging by the man's body language. Nodding at him, Nina walked off, in the direction of the SRU vehicles. She stopped, stared at her hands. She flicked her wrists as if to shake off something, then wiped her hands on her sleeves as she started walking again.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Fallout

The ride to the station passed mostly in silence.

Ed held the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip, jaw set, eyes blazing.

Greg was lost in thoughts, pondering what he'd observed. His profiler instincts were telling him that something was off, but he couldn't put his finger on it. All he knew was that the arrival of their newest team member had completely thrown the team's balance off-kilter.

**...**

Jules was relieved to be alone, muttering angrily under her breath as she drove the command truck back to the barn.

**...**

Lou wasn't a man of many words. He shot his best friend a curious look, wondering what had him so distracted. "You alright?"

Spike nodded absently. "Yeah, sure."

His mind kept going over what he'd found out about Nina today, feeling guilty about invading her privacy and ashamed for never having made an effort to get to know her. Disregarding her name and former profession, he could count the things he knew about her on one hand - each fact as random and inconsequential as the next.

**...**

Wordy glanced at the woman in the passenger seat. He might not be as good a profiler as the Sarge or even Jules, but he was a father. And those instincts that let him know when his girls were upset or worried, those instincts were screaming at him. Studying Nina for a moment, he asked: "How are you doing?"

Nina blinked at the unexpected question that had startled her out of her reverie. "What?"

Several more red flags went up in Wordy's head. _Was she just lost in thoughts or why did she look so surprised? _"How are you doing?", he repeated. "That was a really tough call for you."

"Yeah." There were no two ways about that. "I'm fine. Thanks." She managed a tiny, but sincere smile.

* * *

The bubble of respite burst when Team One reached SRU HQ.

"Briefing room", Ed ordered tersely as they put away their equipment and weapons in the gun cages. Spotting the subject of his anger heading in the opposite direction, he barked: "Where do you think you're going?!"

All eyes flew to Nina, who raised her hands to display the blood slowly drying on them. "To clean up."

The rest of the team waited for Ed's reaction with baited breath, knowing very well that their team leader didn't take kindly to backtalk from the rookie. "If you're not in the briefing room in ten minutes, I'm gonna find you and drag you there myself", he threatened.

Nina looked completely unfazed as she left for the changing rooms, her mien blank and stony.

**...**

Exactly 7 minutes later, the rolling door to the briefing room slammed shut.

Nina stayed silent throughout the initial dressing-down she received from Ed. When they went over the transcript, she responded to questions directly aimed at her with answers that ranged from short and crisp to monosyllabic. She stayed silent in the face of the diatribe from Jules. The words registered, but the pain they usually brought with them didn't come. She just rolled with the punches, the disconnected numbness a welcome change. Sounds and colours blurred together into a muffled haze.

Until Jules reached the part of the transcript where Michael had commented that Nina looked skinny. She made a caustic remark along the lines of "Didn't your mom teach you how to cook?"

The world snapped back into focus with gruelling abruptness.

"Whoa!", Spike protested.

Lou frowned. "There's no need for that."

"That was uncalled for, Jules", Wordy rebuked.

Greg realised at that moment what had made him so uneasy before. It wasn't just the concerning lack of response from Nina. It was the complete and utter lack of expression on her face and the dull, empty look in her eyes. Having seen that look before many times in his career as a negotiator, several alarm bells went off in his mind and he stood up. "Enough!"

But before he could address the highly disconcerting issue (and the most unusual coldness and hostility of the team), the door opened and Commander Holleran stood in the doorway, a sheet of paper in his hand, a deep frown marring his face.

"Sorry for interrupting, Sergeant Parker", he said. "But I have just found this on my desk" - he waved the sheet of paper - "and I want an explanation." Scrutinising the individual team members, he continued: "Sergeant, I'd like a word with you in my office. Constable Ruben, go get changed, then come to my office as well. The rest of you will wait here for my return."

Greg nodded and followed the commander, who left after one last searching glance at Nina.

**...**

Five pairs of eyes flew to Nina as she got to her feet a few moments after Holleran and the boss had headed for the commander's office.

"What's going on?", Spike puzzled.

She paused at the door and turned to face them, exhaustion in every line of her body. "Congratulations", she said quietly, hardly any inflection to her tone. "You won." Her eyes were firmly on Ed.

"What?", he questioned sharply.

A mirthless smile crossed her haggard features as she elaborated: "You never wanted me on the team. You made it all very clear that you don't like me. That you want me gone. So congratulations. You got your wish." With that, she opened the rolling door and walked away without another word. She didn't look back or she might have seen 5 equally stunned expressions, mixed with a myriad of emotions as unique as each member of the team.

* * *

In a nutshell, the conversation in Holleran's office boiled down to the commander telling Greg: "You've messed up big time. Fix it."

He had handed the sergeant the sheet of paper. Greg immediately recognised it as a letter of resignation. Nina's letter of resignation. Effective immediately.

It was simple and to the point, stating that she regretted leaving the SRU but thought it best for the team's dynamics. She thanked the commander for the opportunity to be a part of the elite unit, apologised for the inconvenience. His stomach sank as he read it. No mention of the way she had been treated by Team One. Only that she feared that she wasn't a good fit and that she didn't want to put her coworkers at risk.

"Look at the date", Holleran directed.

Greg's eyes flicked up to the top right of the letter. Today's date was written with pen in the clear handwriting he had come to recognise as Nina's. Underneath was another date, typed. It was crossed out. He closed his eyes. He suddenly felt so old. "Dear God."

The commander nodded grimly. "She's had this ready for two months, Greg."

Greg ran a hand over his head. "We caused this", he said in a tone of utter self-recrimination.

"Yes you did." Holleran saw no need for sugar-coating. "Your team's appalling behaviour has turned a bright, talented and kind-hearted young woman into a mere shadow of herself." Sensing that the sergeant wondered how he knew, he added: "Not that Ruben has ever complained. She's been more forgiving than you deserve. But the other teams have expressed their concerns."

Looking at the letter in his hand, Greg sighed. "We failed her."

"Yes. You might get a second chance, though", the commander said. "I'm not ready to lose a skilled and promising officer, not without a fight."

Greg sat up straighter, interest piqued. "What do you have in mind?", he inquired.

"I will ask her to wait until the end of the next month, to give you all a chance to make amends and prove her wrong. Which I hope for all your sake you'll succeed in. But, if she still wants to leave at the end of the next month, I won't stop her."

"And you think she'll agree?" Greg had his doubts. Nina had shut down almost completely in the briefing room, gaze distant and detached.

Holleran shrugged. "That's what we'll have to find out." He rose from his chair, Greg following suit. "Team One is on stand down. Until Team Three gets in, Team Four covers any hot calls. Go talk to your team. I'll be with you as soon as I have spoken to Nina."

"Yes sir."

* * *

Returning to the briefing room, Greg found Team One shrouded in angry tension and dazed shock. They were all too preoccupied with their own thoughts to speak to each other. Sighing softly, the sergeant closed the rolling door again. He had everyone's attention as he walked to the head of the table, propped himself up with his hands flat on the table top and studied each of his team members.

"Did Nina really quit?" Spike's eyes were wide with earnest concern, a fair amount of guilt in them alongside a small spark of hope that the answer would be no.

Paying close attention to their reactions, Greg replied: "She left her resignation on Commander Holleran's table before the debrief."

Lou looked resigned, disappointed and angry - the latter most likely directed towards himself and his teammates and not the blonde paramedic.

Spike's emotions were painted clearly across his face. He was ashamed and upset, shooting an accusing glare towards Jules and Ed.

Wordy also looked saddened by the news, though his mien mostly expressed disgust and anger. Again, Greg was fairly certain that those emotions weren't aimed at Nina.

Jules looked conflicted, though judging by her crossed arms and closed-off body language, she wasn't quite ready to accept the guilt she felt underneath.

And Ed, as usual, was the toughest to read. On the surface, the team leader just looked angry. But Greg could see the niggling doubts behind the stubborn ire and pride, the worry and guilt.

**...**

After letting the words sink in for a minute, Greg straightened.

"We made a huge mistake", he began. "_I_ made a huge mistake. I'm sorry that it took me so long to see how out of control this situation has gotten. I should have put a stop to it a lot sooner." He held up a hand to forestall the protests that rang out from all sides. "I am the sergeant, keeping the team dynamics on an even keel is my responsibility. I never should have allowed for this to continue for so long."

"Right now, Commander Holleran is speaking to Nina and hopefully, he can convince her to stay. But no matter the outcome of that conversation, the facts stay the same: We screwed up. Instead of welcoming Nina as our newest teammate, teaching and mentoring her, we have pushed her away, belittled and ignored her. We have never explained why or how, only criticised her mistakes. We have never bothered to get to know her."

Heads hung in shame. Jules didn't meet anyone's eyes, her gaze firmly on a spot in front of her. Wordy had a deep frown on his face as he stared at the transcript that still lay open on the table. Ed's jaw was set, brows furrowed. Lou squeezed Spike's shoulder, the bomb tech visibly distraught.

"With our unacceptable behaviour", Greg plowed on, "we have driven away a talented and dedicated young woman. We failed her. We failed Nina Ruben."

**...**

Wordy shifted in his seat, leaning onto his forearms. "We treated her worse than an armed subject holding a room full of people hostage", he said quietly. "Connect, respect, protect. What does it say about us that we can do that with people who we've never met before but can't do it for one of our own?"

"That, Officer Wordsworth, is an excellent question."

Commander Holleran stood in the doorway once more, arms crossed, a face like thunder. "An even better question", he continued, taking up Greg's place at the front of the room while the sergeant yielded the floor and sat down, "would be: 'How is it possible that a distressed, injured and suicidal man on a ledge noticed within minutes what you - six highly trained SRU officers - were too blind to see?"

Nodding as if he'd received an eloquent answer instead of awkward silence, he determined that they all recognised the gravity of their actions (and in some cases, inactions) and that there was no need to draw this lecture out any longer than necessary.

"I am disappointed in you", he told them frankly. "And for your sake I hope that something like this will _never _happen again. Such unprofessional behaviour has no place in the SRU." He fixed them with a stern look. "Fix this. I suggest you put your upcoming weekend off to good use. You have until the end of next month to prove to Constable Ruben that she is part of this team, this family."

Spike perked up. "So she hasn't left?"

"No, Officer Scarlatti. Not yet, at least."

With a brisk nod, Holleran took his leave.

**...**

Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, Ed turned his head to glance at the Sarge. Wordless communication passed between them and Greg nodded his approval.

"Alright", the team leader said, rising from his chair. "Everyone go home, get some rest. Tomorrow, we meet at the boss' house, 8 am sharp, and work this out." His tone left no room for arguments. He was determined to fix this mess.

Greg gave them an encouraging smile. "We all messed up, but we've been given the chance to make things right." They could do it. The fact that Nina had stayed showed that she was willing to give it another shot. Making amends wouldn't happen over-night, it was going to be a long and complex process, but it wasn't impossible. Understanding and trust took time, but with patience, empathy and good faith, they would get there.

Signing off on the transcript and putting it into its case, he picked it up and followed his team out of the briefing room.

* * *

The members of Team One were all deeply in thought as they went home that night. All of them replaying the day's events in their minds, thinking about all the ways they had screwed up, all the things they missed or ignored, all the words that had been said, all the ways they had left their rookie to fend for herself.

Greg felt that a large portion of the blame should rest with him. He was the sergeant. He should have stepped up and reprimanded the team for their unprofessional and damn-near negligent behaviour. He should have made sure that Nina understood why certain rules were in place. He should have made sure that she was okay after tough calls, that she was handling the pressures of the job.

Wearily slumping down onto his couch, he accepted that playing the 'should have'-game wasn't going to get him anywhere. Instead, he decided to start with what he knew about the blonde paramedic, be that from her personnel file, from what personal information she'd offered (which was very little) and from what he'd observed. He'd start with that and go from there.

**...**

When he came home, Ed was secretly glad that Clark was at a friend's house for a sleepover. It meant that he could just sit down for dinner with his wife and talk to her about the massive screw-up that weighed heavily on his mind and conscience. Sophie listened quietly as all the frustration, guilt and disgust at himself poured out of him, and he loved her all the more for it.

"So", she asked eventually after he had gotten it all off his chest and after she'd frankly expressed her amazement at the fact that Nina had only tried to quit today. "Who is Nina Ruben really? And what is it about her that rubs you the wrong way?"

And wasn't that just the million-dollar question?

**...**

Lou was hungry and tired by the time he reached his apartment. Initially, he had planned on going to his parents' for dinner, but now, he really didn't think that he'd be good company. So he called his mother and explained that he was tired, that it had been a tough day at work. Which wasn't a lie. But his mom must have heard something in his voice, must have caught the emotions bubbling beneath the surface, because she insisted he come over.

"Your father can come and pick you up if you're too tired to drive, honey", Mrs Young said. "But I think it would do you good. You don't have to talk about what's on your mind, but you know we'll listen if you need us to."

He couldn't help but smile at that and he agreed. Hanging up after arranging for his Dad to come pick him up in 20 minutes, Lou glanced at the clock. Enough time to shower.

Turning on the water, he thought on how to go about making amends with Nina. Even though they often ended up on less lethal together, most of what he knew about the blonde was job-related. How she had a keen eye for details, was a good multi-tasker and a master at rapelling, for example. On a personal level, though? All he knew was that Nina didn't like coffee, that she was single and that she liked going for a run in the park with her neighbour's dog.

**...**

Spike hardly touched the food on his plate, pushing it around more than actually eating. He knew his mother would worry and fuss over him, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. He felt sick.

"I'm sorry, Ma. I'm not hungry", he mumbled when she asked what was wrong. "I'm just tired."

Lying in bed later that night, however, he found himself staring at the ceiling. Snippets of conversations echoed in his ears, fragments of memories danced before his eyes.

Holleran's biting question popped into his head. _"How is it possible that a distressed, injured and suicidal man on a ledge noticed within minutes what you - six highly trained SRU officers - were too blind to see?" _What did he mean by that? Was he referring to Michael saying "You look skinny. Are you okay?". Or was it more than that?

As far as he could remember, Nina had been fairly slim on the first day. Had she become thinner in those three months? Had she lost weight because they had been so horrible to her? Spike didn't know. He snorted. That seemed to be the case a lot lately, that he didn't know.

**...**

Before going home, Jules stayed in the locker room a long time, stared at herself in the mirror and at the locker behind her. The one that she had put a water bomb in that morning. A harmless prank, one that had been played on countless rookies before.

But with them, it had been one water bomb. Not several over the course of 15 weeks. And the hazing hadn't continued for months.

"What have we done?", she whispered into the emptiness of the room. "What have _I_ done?"

As she left the locker room, her eyes caught on the sign beside the door. 'Jules' was emblazoned there in bold, red letters. She looked at it and an idea formed in her mind. Heading up to the dispatcher desk, she asked Kira if she had a water-soluble pen that she could borrow. Back in front of the sign, she pulled the cap off the black marker and carefully wrote '& Nina' underneath her own name.

Feeling a little bit better, Jules returned the marker and left the building, deciding that when the time was right, she'd either ask Sarge to replace the sign with a standard one or, and she liked that idea even more, Nina could write her own name on the sign. It would be a symbol that the other woman felt like part of the team, felt confident that she had a place in the SRU.

**...**

The first thing Wordy did when he entered his home was hug his girls.

"Rough day?", Shelley asked after the kids had been put to bed.

He sighed. "Yeah." Settling on the couch, he told his wife what had transpired today and how it had come to that. "I can't stop thinking about that look she had on her face when I asked her how she was doing", he confessed, shaking his head. "When we drove back to the station. I only asked her how she was doing. I don't know, maybe she was just in thought, but..." He swallowed. "She looked so surprised. Like she hadn't expected me to ask."

Shelley ran a comforting hand over her husband's arm. "You made a first step in the right direction", she said despite knowing that it wouldn't do much to make him feel better. "You all made mistakes and the poor woman was hurt terribly, but you reached out. That already makes a difference."

"She smiled", Wordy remembered. "It was small and only for a second, but she smiled. I don't think I've ever really seen her truly smile at any of us before."

Shelley smiled and pecked him on the lips. "See? Don't give up hope. You can fix this."

**...**

Nina sat on the couch, curled up under a blanket with a large mug of tea in her hands. The TV was on, but she barely registered what the show was about, too absorbed in her thoughts. Her hazel gaze travelled to her phone when the device pinged with another incoming message. There were already several notifications on the screen. Sighing, she opened the first message.

**Johnny****:**_ Milo's in good hands at TGH, listed as stable. How are you holding up?_

The next message was from Constable Simon Wallace, informing her that Jennifer Decourcy had been taken into custody. _Could you come in tomorrow for a statement? 10 am? _She sent him a quick reply, confirming the date. Then, she turned to the other messages. One was from Captain Richard Oehler, her former superior at station 26.

**Cap: **_Heard what happened with Milo. Thank God you were there. See you soon._

Nina's lips curled briefly. Typical Cap. That last sentence wasn't an order, but a vote of confidence. Trust the man to know the people under his command. It was the last message, however, that broke through the paralysing numbness that had taken up residence inside her.

**Milo: **_Hey Roo. Thanks for talking me out of doing something stupid. I'm sorry I put you in that position, but I'm getting help now, thanks to you. Come by soon, okay? I forgot how boring hospitals are when you're a patient..._

A choked laugh escaped her before the tears came. Setting aside her mug, Nina hugged a pillow to her chest and cried. All the hurt and anger, the sadness and pain, guilt and fear, relief and regret burst forth. She cried until her eyes were red, her throat raw and her lungs aching for air.

And when the tears finally dried and exhaustion overwhelmed her, her eyes closed and she fell asleep right where she was, huddled under a blanket, a mug of tea going cold on the coffee table.


End file.
